Home > Discipleship, Leadership > Why a Mentor is More Helpful than You Think

Why a Mentor is More Helpful than You Think

When Jesus called his first disciples he began his invitation with two words, “follow me.” (Matthew 4:19) Years later, when the Apostle Paul wanted to move his readers further along their discipleship journey he would say, “imitate me as I imitate Christ.” (1 Corinthians 11:1) Stated another way, Paul is telling his readers to follow his example as he follows Christ’s example.

You would expect such a strong statement from Jesus.  After all, he was the Son of God. But from Paul this, at first glance, sounds very arrogant.  Who is Paul that we should follow him? He’s not Jesus!

When we consider Paul’s words further, however, we see that he’s not being prideful, he’s being practical. You see, non-believers and new believers can’t follow the Lord’s example, because he’s not here to follow.  At least not in a physical sense.

Paul on the other hand is a physical, flesh-and-blood human being.  His readers had seen him, heard him and could even touch and experience his physical presence.  He was tangible to them, while Jesus was not. Paul rightly understood that people learn best from example, the things they can observe and experience first hand.

Image via quotesvalley.com

Image via quotesvalley.com

A Frame of Reference

In the summer of 2013, my father-in-law helped me build a wooden front porch to update our house. When I mentioned that we were thinking about such a project he proceeded to explain to me what type of wood, tools and equipment I needed.  He even described the process to me in detail, but I didn’t get it.

I attempted to purchase some of the items that we needed, but all of the options looked the same. I tried to imagine the framework he had described, but I got confused.  It wasn’t that he did a poor job of describing the materials and process to me, it was that I had no frame of reference for what he was talking about because I had no prior experience. Needless to say, I was overwhelmed and ready to hire a professional.

Before I could, however, my father-in-law offered his help.  He went with my wife and I to purchase the supplies and showed us the difference between the options.  He then demonstrated how to build the framework and had me do exactly as he did, explaining what he was doing (or having me do) and why every step of the way.

I now know how to build a front porch.  Had I tried to do it just based on what my father-in-law described, however, it probably wouldn’t have gone so well.  It was my father-in-law’s example that helped me understand and experience the work for myself. He didn’t just tell me what to do, he showed me.

A Pattern for Life

The same is true of discipleship. People hear about Jesus through our words, but they experience Jesus through our actions. It is our example to people that brings Jesus to life for people. This is why life-on-life relationships are critical to spiritual maturity, because people have a real life example to pattern their lives after.

Books, seminars and conferences are great supplements to discipleship, but they are terrible replacements. If we want to see real results in our discipleship efforts, we must be willing to get out front and lead by example. We must understand that even the best explanations cannot replace hands on experience.

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